THE IDES OF JUNE

FOR the uninitiated,IDES stands for the Illinois Department of Employment Security or in layman's terms, the Unemployment Office. I found myself there amongst the great unwashed thanks to an egregious slicing of my work schedule that finds me toiling a mere eight hours per week as of right now and until...who knows? Given that I might need some gasoline somewhere down the road (pun intended) and maybe a frozen dinner a couple of times a week, it seemed prudent to seek unemployment compensation as so many of my fellow Americans have had to do in the last few years.
I spent the previous evening trying to make certain I had everything I needed so it wouldn't be a wasted trip. I collected every official looking form I could locate with the exception of my cat's rabies vaccine verification though I thought given my luck,that is what they might request.
Come the morning I got up early and made an effort to look as neat and as together as possible though I can understand those that might dress in tatters and adopt a forlorn and spacey demeanor. I packed like I was heading to Sioux Falls and picked up a buddy who himself had been paying visits to IDES these past months, and off we went.
Upon arrival, I immediately felt the gaze of my unemployed brethren who may have been gauging my reaction to the fact that there was a good number of people ahead of me. I deprived them of a reaction as there weren't as many people as I had expected given the hour and economy. I received the first of several instructions -"The line is to the right" and "Have 2 ID's ready" from folks who had a job because we do not. I don't begrudge them,in fact I'm envious. If you like to deal with people, this seems like a nice career move.
After filling out the requisite forms,I took a seat to begin the waiting process. The boredom was broken when I looked up to see my cantankerous neighbor rush through the doors and manically charge the administration desk with a hurried tale of woe. He was quickly dispatched to another line where he repeated his clipped and pointed remarks and I never saw him again. But in that few moments he said more words than he has said to me or any other neighbor on my block. He could readily find employment as a grump as he has the skill set but I'm not sure Dick Cheney is hiring.
I took out my phone to text my significant other about the coincidence of seeing my neighbor in this place and moments later she responded with an alert tone that caused the security guard to warn us that we are to turn off cell phones as the sign indicates. Curses! I was certain I had indeed turned down my volume but I hadn't and now my fellow compensation seekers knew it. I was sure they were thinking "No wonder this guy's out of work,he can't read a sign."
We were shortly shepherded into another room where a friendly,middle aged mom type made announcements as to what would happen next. I flashed my friendly smile as this was someone I could work with..someone who would understand my distress, commiserate with my plight and see me off into the world feeling like help was on the way.
After interviewing two people,she left. And her replacement sounded just like the boss who was making the hour cuts that resulted in my being at IDES. He was all business and my attempts at being conversational went for naught. Still he was a professional and we transacted our "business" in 5 minutes or less proving as Tom Petty sung "The Waiting is the hardest part..."
I departed with more literature than I get sent to me during election season as I await the verdict. Tolstoy used fewer words. Will I receive unemployment compensation that will keep me afloat until fall or exist in a world devoid of satellite television, a landline, a daily newspaper and mambo lessons? Well okay I can do without the mambo lessons.