NEIGHBORS GONE WILD
Illegal Conversions Create Chaos for Northwest Side Bungalow Crowd
by Jeff Kwit
I haven't been able to park in front of my house since the Bush administration.
I recognize that on the list of human suffering, this ranks somewhere below getting a
sliver, but your parking space is your sanctuary as proven by the hordes of junk that
annually fill them come the snows. We enjoy the convenience of going car to doorway
with a minimum of steps, especially if the weather be inclement.
This is a relatively new phenomenon in my suburban zip coded Chicago hood,
and I am fairly confident that the cause is a little thing we call "illegal
conversions."
In my research for this article (that's right, I WORKED on this!) I found an
article by the great
Sun Times writer Raymond Coffey from 1996 when the problem was
in bloom. He observed that single family homes and 2 flats were turning into "virtual
boarding houses for
recently arrived immigrants."
And I'm pretty sure that's why I can't get a parking space!
Now don't get me wrong, I am not anti-immigration nor do I take lightly the
dangers of illegal conversions to those families crammed into close quarters to benefit
a greedy landlord. That is a topic for minds wiser than my own. I just want to park! At
this point, being able to park in front of my own house is a feeling similar to winning $4
on a lottery scratch off ticket. You really like it but it isn't life changing.
It's a particular problem on weekends when I would not be surprised to see guys
in red vests and flashlights directing neighborhood cars to open spots. I think I once
had to park in Norridge and take a shuttle to my residence. Or maybe I dreamed that,
no matter. But I DO know I have been tempted on more than one occasion to bring the
3 legged bench out of summer hibernation to stand guard curbside. I would venture to
say that garages are going for almost as much as homes in this area, such are their
value on this parking spot challenged city block.
Lest I sound like I might be the neighborhood curmudgeon, there IS a bright
side to the teeming masses that are streaming into my tree lined bunch o'bungalows.
I am always meeting new neighbors and I think the lemonade stand I am
considering setting up on the corner may do a booming business given that the entrances
to these homes sometimes resemble the turnstyles at Wrigley Field. It's a Welcome
Wagon's representative's worst nightmare.
And so as I seek a parking space and wave hello to the neighborhood home
owners lighting cigars with $50 bills, I remind you to never take that space in front of
your dwelling for granted. In winter, the snow wants it and in the other seasons it might
well be one of your two dozen new neighbors.
