School's Out!

   That building known as "the old school" was a pillar of the community but also a friend.

     That old school served as a catcher for so many rubber baseballs that found their way into a black square painted onto its back section in the big St.William parking lot. My friends and I spent many sunny afternoons throwing those rubber balls at that square as we also stood in front of it with our baseball bats trying to slap that pitch before it smacked the venerable bricks of the school.

   I spent lots of sunny days  running around on that asphalt,ruining my hips(😁) but enjoying baseball  through the game of "Fast Pitch" with friends. I bet there are still rubber balls on the old school roof.

    That big school building stood there reflecting the lights from a ferris wheel, a Tilt-A-Whirl and all the attractions provided by the carnival that used to occupy our lot every August. While its been a very long time since the carnivals, it is among my forever memories of the school.

     I experienced two principals in my student life at St.William. The aforementioned Sister Paschaletta and at the finish,Sister Eloise whom I would interact with post student. I interviewed her as a local news reporter covering a break in at the school years after I had graduated. Sister Eloise was a kind,soft spoken but firm principal. Unlike the more business like nun in Sister P. , Sister Eloise was a pleasant change....and not the last principal I would experience as you will see later.

    The school secretary is a very important person in the grammar school orbit. She is the go between, the safe space betwern you and the authority of the principal. You came to her when you skinned your knee or you felt sick or you had to bring her something you were instructed to deliver by your teacher.  She was, in a way, your mom away from mom and it helped if she were sociable and caring.

    The School secretary most famous in St.William lore was Mrs.Small. Heads still bow at the mention of her name! I think she might have come with the construction of the school and was as much a part of it as the bricks. She was there a long time! A gentle woman with white hair, Mrs.Small was St.William School  for generations. Her husband Adrian even worked there as custodian. We also had Mr.McCarthy and Mr.Duhane.

     We had school busses in those days and male students were obliged to serve as "bus boys" to ride with a driver and attempt to keep order among your fellow students. So though I lived across the street there was a period where I rode the bus each morning and afternoon. I was not among those who used the position as a power base. "I'm gonna report you" was the go to line for the bus boy. I was less into being a tattletale than some others though I am sure I turned in a report or two , at least to show I was on the job..

     And while I didn't get to walk out with my class on the last day of school , I did walk out of church in my blue cap and gown with them the night we graduated, putting the punctuation mark on my time as an average to good  student at St. William.

      But I returned and that's what I will be remembering next.

THE GRADUATE. #8

 There was a notorious nun awaiting us in the upper grades. We had heard tales of her notorious grumpiness since the sixth grade. She frequently haunted the hallway to chew out an offending student in full view of passersby. She was the one,the only....Sister Solaria!

    It was a relief to learn that my homeroom teacher in 8th grade would be Sister Reinaldis and not Sister Solaria. Yet there was no escape. Because when it came time for English class, it was time for......Sister Rose???? Yes,Sister Solaria had changed her name to a more gentle sounding Sister Rose,perhaps to rid herself of the baggage that came with being the fastest knuckle whacker in the west. Her name had changed,her mood not so much.

    I was fortunate enough to do fairly well in my English classes (this blog not withstanding) so I seldom was an irritant to Sistet Rose like many of my fellow students.

    For all her bluster and bad moods, she was not without humor though it was very dry. But I could appreciate that about her. As I said ,I did pretty well in her class but she wasn't one to ignore a little mistake. I was on the receiving end of her verbal barbs when I failed to come up with the answer she was looking for. I can still see and hear it today as she said very calmly , "Kwit,your stupidity is colossal."

I almost busted out laughing. I had never heard those two words "stupidity" and colossal" in the same insult and I appreciated it. So Sister Rose, wherever you are in the great beyond, I remember you not with dread and fear but with humor.

    Our home room teacher Sister Reinaldis was a competent veteran nun who was aware of very little that didnt involve her job. Her lack of knowledge of the world beyond the classroom and convent  made her easy pickins for the most disruptive and fun bunch of pranksters with whom Ive ever shared a classroom. She was pranked so many times by my 8th grade class,I wouldn't have blamed her for resigning mid year. 

   She had just the trace of a German accent which made it easy for the class to do impressions of her. It seemed almost every day that bunch had something new in store for Sister Reinaldis. And when she got frustrated with us she would get almost comically upset and her accent thickened.

   There was the time they hid a transistor radio on low volume in one of the cabinets in the back of the room tuned to a country music station, perplexing the poor nun as she demanded to know who had the radio. The answer was,of course,nobody. 

    Or the time one of the students brought a small can to class that when turned upside down,made the sound of a cow mooing. We would pass that can around so the moo would always be coming from a different place in the room.

This added to her frustration as every time she thought she cornered the "cow" it had moooooved along. Meanwhile we were biting our lips to keep from laughing.

    But the greatest and most laugh inducing prank might be considered X rated and was definitely naughty so lets keep it just between us.

    One of the students had brought a prophylactic to school. The students had made it a habit to put all manner of silly things on the desk of Sister Reinaldis but this was daring.

     And so it was that Sister Reinaldis found it on her desk,stood up in front of the class stretching it full length as if it were a balloon and mumbling "How does this silly stuff always get on my desk?"

She obviously had no idea what it was and her class was almost crying with suppressed laughter at a sight few people have ever seen. A nun stretching a birth control device and wondering what it was.

    That eighth grade class was something.

    Being one who always appreciated humor I enjoyed these classmates because you never knew what they had planned for poor,frustrated Sister each day. It was also the most accepted I ever felt. While I never planned any of the misdeeds I passed the cow can when it came my way and happily kept all the confidences of the perpetrators.

    Looking back as an adult who has achieved at least some level of maturity, I feel sorry for what this nun was subjected to by my class as she just tried to do her job. Yet their misbehavior made 8th grade the best experience I had as a student at St.William,including the time I won the 4th grade spelling bee with the word "Alleluia."

  Sister Reinaldis got her revenge on the last day of school ,our final day as grammar school students.

    When the bell rung to end our eight year run as St. William students, she kept us in our seats. As freedom rung for the rest of the student body as they joyfully hit the streets for summer, we sat in silence,the penalty for our sins.

     As Sister revelled in having the last laugh ,she fixed her gaze on me.

     "Kwit,"she said "You have been a prince of a fellow. You may go."

      I rose up with the smile of a person who felt liberated despite taking part in the school year mayhem and walked out of the classroom and grammar school life by myself.

    And there you have my biggest regret of my student years at St.William. Back then all that was important was the escape. But if I had it to do over again I would've politely declined Sister's offer and staid with my class. I should've ended by leaving the building with my classmates.

   Little did I know I would be back.

ST. WILLIAM BITS. (#7)

    Like every student who ever walked the halls of St.William, a number of events,perhaps only noteable to me, occurred during my 8 years there.

  Like the time Sister Paschaletta ,our principal,was giving us a guided tour of the church altar when I was in one of the early grades.

"Be careful you do not knock over the sanctuary candle," she warned, just before I knocked over the red glass encased sanctuary candle. No punishment other then Sister's glare and the embarrassment as my peers gasped and giggled.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

   I had my own "off school" circle of good friends many of whom attended St.William but in other grades. I didn't have a lot of in school buddies but one was certainly Ted. He and his younger brother Jack were buzz cutted good guys and their mother and my mom  became friends as well but the ladies didn't have buzz cuts.

  On two occasions I attended school in a leg cast. Once it was after an ill attempt at ice skating resulted in a broken ankle, and another when I had a malady known as "Osgood Schlatter" which at the time we mistakenly referred to as "Osgood Slattercres". Anyway it was named for the fellow who discovered this disease apparently,as if being named "Osgood" wasn't enough of a handicap. I had a bump under my kneecap and were it to go castless one leg would be shorter than the other.

And these were the days of heavy plaster casts that only came in powdery white.

   In class I would have to keep that leg elevated and I got my own personal student valet. As I was on crutches, some poor kid was assigned to carry my books for me and assist me with anything requiring two legs. I think on one occassion it was my buddy Ted. And while a student butler  may sound like a nice perk, when you're a kid that doesn't enjoy drawing attention to yourself,  half standing out in the crowd is not desirable..

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

I think I had pneumonia in the second grade. I remember getting a bunch of class made get well cards early in my learning career. It was the first time I learned about fellowship even though I'm certain the teacher assigned them to do it.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

I've made it clear,I hope, that I valued my catholic education at St.William but it wasn't without its drawbacks. 

   Some of the nuns would be a little extreme in their attempt to save our souls and wouldn't mind using scare tactics.

   When I was in one of the early grades,a nun told us that should we ever say anything God felt to be particularly objectionable, we might be stricken with tongue cancer.

      I was a young,impressionable and sensitive kid and that hit me hard. And while I never insulted the good Lord, I feared I may have done so unintentionally. I was nervous I would be struck sick and I wound up at the local doctor. 

     When my mom and I told him what made me so anxious, he looked away and mumbled "Those damn nuns." 

      It was the first time I had ever heard anyone be critical of the Sisters. And whether that was the root cause or not I have been a world class hypochondriac since.

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

   I would go home for lunch each day because I lived across the street. I had the luxury of eating in my own surroundings,having a non public restroom  and staying home until just a few minutes before the bell rung for afternoon classes.

    

   One particular afternoon in November,perhaps watching "Bozo's Circus" (a show for which I would eventually write) a news bulletin announced that President Kennedy had been shot.

     All the kids were in the playground for recess, oblivious to what was transpiring in the moment. And,as one who could wait until the last moment to return to recess and class, I came back to the playground armed with  this momentous news. 

     Naturally,the students I told thought I was joking but it didn't keep them from passing it around.

      When we all filed back in, it was still just a rumor that started with me. I even had a teacher ask me about it and I assured her it was true.

       Minutes later an announcement came over the public address system at school making it official. The President had been shot and we were all to join in prayer.

      When it was announced that John Kennedy had passed, the entire school went across the street to the church.

       We were just kids suddenly engulfed in a world of adult situations and exposed in horrible fashion to existence outside a hopskotch board.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

   One of my girl pals was Kathy Kroger (this is a rare instance when I will use an actual last name because it is lyrical.) 

Kathy was a tall, sociable, athletic girl  who was a "one of the guys" type. She was always very kind to me and while we were never great friends,we got along well. 

     When my mom got a job for a year or so while I was in a mid grade I wasn't able to go to my house for lunch. 

      The few times I had lunch in school didn't work for me. The days seemed much longer,I had no real social connections and I felt out of place.

       So my mom made arrangements for me to go to Kathy's house a few blocks away for lunch.

        I don't recall Kathy herself ever being there so I'm thinking even SHE didn't go home for lunch. But her mom was very kind to me and I still remember the big uniquely shaped home and the top floor where Kathy lived. She also had train puzzles which I thought were very cool.

I had an affinity for trains and my dad would take me to the Mont Clare station many evenings just to watch the trains come in .

     But I digress. Kathy and her mom were part of my St.William saga. And after lunching at her house for a school year, my mom stopped working and I was lunching back on my home turf.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

  I had interest in girls at school from about 6th grade on but I was a bit of a chubby introvert,not someone that would garner the attentions of a schoolgirl. They tended to favor the wise guys, the disruptors,the bunch much cooler than I. I had girls that interested me outside of the school building (starting when I was  4 years old)  but never another student.

   However,I think it was 7th grade when I took particular interest in a quiet ,reserved,intelligent blondish girl with a wry grin. Her name was Kathy and her friend was named Judy. I don't recall how it unfolded but I became friendly with Judy whose good friend was Kathy. I have always seemed to get along better with females. I was able to make them both laugh (intentionally) which is not a small detail at that age. It made you kind of unique to flash a sense of humor and I tried to win Kathy over with it. It also confirmed that I indeed had a personality.

   I leveraged whatever writing skill I had at that age  and made a really poor edition of a kind of humorous newspaper and would give Judy and Kathy a copy. The truth was,I only made two copies no matter what they may have thought. Of course today,two people with an actual newspaper seems to be a novelty.

    I sat behind Kathy or nearby anyway and I would do little stuff to try to amuse her as would my friend Gary. Gary was outrageous and unapologetically wacky and I couldn't tell you some of the stuff he did to tease these young ladies. He was harmless but definitely qualified as class clown.

     By years end I had it pretty bad for Kathy but of course I did nothing,had no moves and no game  and I don't even recall seeing her in 8th grade. How fleeting romance can be at that age.  But I remember her with fondness even today and hope both Kathy and Judy did well.

 ••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••   

Ah, I mentioned eighth grade. My final year as a St.William student. That's next time.

Oh,and I would have another crush at St.William but it wouldn't be as a student.

That's for later.